Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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