Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
