STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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