she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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