HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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