we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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