Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize