I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Randomize
