what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
