Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
