I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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