if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
