Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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