Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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