I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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