So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
