and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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