yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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