worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
