I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
even my farts smell like vagina
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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