I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
