babies were throwing up all over the place
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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