cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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