it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
