her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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