he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
