Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
A+ Viking dick
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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