My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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