i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
