The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
