i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize