hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
