so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
