Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
