porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
