i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
