Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
be right there i have to get my cape
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.