i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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