so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
pray to the hookup gods
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!