I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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