My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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