Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
