What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
