Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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