after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
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i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
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We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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