We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
