i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
