also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
