he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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