Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
