Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
