I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
