Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
