Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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