I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
