Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize