Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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